# The Hidden Costs of Poor Listening Skills Three years ago, I lost a $180,000 contract because I thought I was listening. I was sitting in this flash boardroom in Sydney, nodding along like one of those dashboard dogs, convinced I was absolutely nailing the client meeting. The procurement manager was explaining their challenges with staff retention, and I was already mentally spending my commission. Classic mistake number one: I was preparing my response instead of actually hearing what she was saying. She mentioned something about "cultural integration issues" and I immediately launched into my standard spiel about team-building workshops and communication training. Fifteen minutes of pure gold, I thought. The kind of presentation that closes deals and pays for holidays. Except she wasn't talking about team culture at all. She was talking about the literal integration of two company cultures after a recent merger. Different systems, different processes, different everything. And here I was, banging on about trust falls and Myers-Briggs personality tests like some kind of corporate evangelist. The look on her face still haunts me. That polite Australian smile that says "mate, you've completely missed the point, haven't you?" ## The Real Cost of Not Listening Poor listening skills aren't just embarrassing – they're expensive. And I'm not talking about hurt feelings or missed opportunities for connection. I'm talking about cold, hard cash walking out the door because we've become a society of people waiting for our turn to speak. Research from the International Association of Business Communicators suggests that companies lose an average of $62.4 million annually due to inadequate communication between employees. That's not a typo. Sixty-two point four million dollars. Per company. Per year. But here's what really gets me fired up: most of that comes down to people simply not listening properly. We're so busy being busy, so focused on productivity and efficiency, that we've forgotten the most basic skill of human interaction. I see it everywhere. Managers who interrupt their team members mid-sentence. Sales reps who launch into product features before understanding the client's actual problem. HR directors who design policies without ever asking employees what they actually need. [More information here](https://skillsensei.bigcartel.com/product/assertiveness-and-self-esteem-training-Adelaide). ## The Neuroscience Bit (Stay With Me) Your brain processes information at about 400 words per minute, but most people speak at roughly 125-150 words per minute. That gap? That's where trouble lives. While someone's talking, your brain has all this spare capacity floating around, and it starts doing what brains do – it wanders. You start thinking about lunch, or that email you need to send, or whether you remembered to put the bins out this morning. Dr. Ralph Nichols, who basically invented listening research back in the 1950s, called this "the speech-thought differential." Fancy name for a simple problem: we think faster than people talk, so we mentally check out. The average person remembers only 25% of what they hear in a conversation. Twenty-five percent! That means three-quarters of every important discussion is basically disappearing into the ether. ## Why We're Getting Worse at It Technology hasn't helped. We've trained ourselves to consume information in bite-sized chunks. Twitter. Instagram stories. TikTok videos. Our attention spans have been sliced and diced into confetti. But it's more than that. Somewhere along the way, we decided that being responsive was more important than being thoughtful. We reward the person who jumps in first with an answer, not the person who takes time to understand the question. I blame business schools, honestly. They teach you to be decisive, to think on your feet, to always have a solution ready. But they don't teach you to shut up and listen. [Here is the source](https://www.alkhazana.net/2025/07/16/why-firms-ought-to-invest-in-professional-development-courses-for-employees/) for some interesting perspectives on professional development. Most leadership development programs focus on communication skills, which usually means "how to speak more persuasively" or "how to present with confidence." When's the last time you saw a course called "Advanced Listening for Executives"? Exactly. ## The Australian Context We've got our own special brand of listening problems here in Australia. We're culturally programmed to be egalitarian – everyone gets a fair go, everyone's opinion matters. Sounds great in theory, but in practice it often means meetings where everyone talks and nobody really listens. There's this uniquely Australian phenomenon I call "conversational cricket." You know how in cricket, players take turns batting and bowling? We do the same thing in meetings. I talk for a bit, then you talk for a bit, then someone else has a go. But nobody's really building on what anyone else said. And don't get me started on our cultural tendency to downplay expertise. "She's probably right, but what would I know?" This false modesty means we often don't listen carefully to people who actually know what they're talking about because we assume they're just having a go like everyone else. ## The Types of Non-Listeners In twenty-three years of training corporate teams, I've identified six distinct types of poor listeners. You'll recognise them immediately: **The Reloader:** These people use the gap between your sentences to reload their next point. They're not listening to understand; they're listening for ammunition. Usually senior managers who've confused being right with being effective. **The Fixer:** Hears the first thirty seconds of your problem and immediately starts solving it. Often well-intentioned but completely misses the nuance. Classic engineer thinking – identify problem, implement solution, move on. **The Waiter:** Just waiting for their turn to speak. Often accompanied by visible fidgeting or that glazed look that says they've mentally moved on to their next meeting. **The Judge:** Evaluating everything you say for accuracy, relevance, or political correctness instead of trying to understand your perspective. Usually lawyers or accountants. [More details at the website](https://spaceleave.com/what-to-anticipate-from-a-communication-skills-training-course/). **The Multitasker:** Checking emails, responding to texts, or thinking about other projects while you're talking. Convinced they can do seven things at once effectively. Spoiler alert: they can't. **The Autobiographer:** Everything you say reminds them of their own experience, which they then share in exhaustive detail. Your story about a difficult client becomes their twenty-minute saga about that time they dealt with someone even more difficult. Sound familiar? We've all been guilty of at least three of these at some point. ## The Hidden Costs Nobody Talks About Poor listening doesn't just cost money – it costs trust, morale, and innovation. When people don't feel heard, they stop contributing their best ideas. They become protective of information. They start working around the system instead of with it. I worked with a manufacturing company in Melbourne where the floor supervisors had stopped reporting safety concerns because management never seemed to really listen. Three near-misses later, someone finally paid attention. By then, the damage to workplace culture was enormous. Or the Brisbane tech startup where the founders were so convinced they knew what customers wanted that they barely listened during user testing sessions. Eighteen months and $2.3 million later, they had a product nobody wanted. The real tragedy is that these companies thought they were being efficient. Cutting through the noise. Making quick decisions. But speed without understanding is just expensive confusion. ## What Good Listening Actually Looks Like Real listening is active, not passive. It's work. You have to deliberately focus your attention and keep bringing it back when it wanders. Most people think listening means staying quiet while someone else talks. That's just not speaking. Good listeners ask clarifying questions. They paraphrase what they've heard to check understanding. They notice what isn't being said as much as what is. They create space for people to expand on their thoughts without jumping in with solutions or judgements. I learned this from a negotiation trainer in Perth who told me: "Listen with your whole body. Face the speaker. Make eye contact. Nod occasionally. Show that you're present." Sounds basic, but when did you last have someone's complete, undivided attention? [Further information here](https://ethiofarmers.com/what-to-anticipate-from-a-communication-skills-training-course/). The best listeners I know also listen for emotion, not just content. They hear the frustration behind the complaint, the excitement behind the suggestion, the uncertainty behind the question. They respond to what people are feeling as much as what they're saying. ## The Paradox of Digital Communication Here's something that'll mess with your head: we're getting worse at listening in person, but we're also getting worse at listening digitally. Email chains where people clearly haven't read previous messages. Zoom meetings where half the participants are obviously doing other things. Slack conversations where people respond to the first message without reading the thread. We've somehow managed to be distracted and inattentive across every possible communication medium. ## What Actually Works The most effective listening technique I've ever learned came from a hostage negotiator. (Long story.) He taught me something called "tactical empathy" – trying to understand the other person's perspective not because you agree with it, but because understanding it gives you better information to work with. It's not about being touchy-feely or politically correct. It's about being strategically intelligent. Another technique that works: the three-second pause. When someone finishes speaking, count to three before responding. This does two things: it makes sure they've actually finished their thought, and it gives your brain time to process what they've said instead of just reacting to it. **Related Blogs:** - [Read more here](https://skillcoaching.bigcartel.com/blog) - [More insight](https://ethiofarmers.com/blog) - [Further reading](https://tf-finanzas.com/blog) ## The Bottom Line Poor listening skills are a luxury most businesses can't afford. Not in this economy, not with this level of competition, not when talent is so hard to find and keep. The companies that figure this out first – the ones that actually listen to their customers, their employees, their market – they're going to have a massive competitive advantage. Because while everyone else is talking, they'll be the ones actually hearing what needs to be done. Start tomorrow. In your next meeting, try listening to understand instead of listening to respond. See what happens. I guarantee you'll learn something that changes how you think about the conversation. And maybe, just maybe, you won't lose a $180,000 contract because you thought you knew better than the person who was trying to tell you exactly what they needed. Trust me on this one.